Oh my God. I had to wake up at 3:30 am (3:30!!!) to get to a job a t 4:30 and I didn't get home until 4:45 pm. I have to nap and then I'm going to take my first call while on the crisis line this evening from 8:30pm-12:30am.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just go back to school so that I can get a regular, decent paying job that doesn't entail me having to run all over the place, scraping and scrambling just to get the next bottom-of-the-totem pole gig.

Ultimately, I just want to do my art, but that is a hard thing to make a living at. I don't want to be an advertising or editorial photographer unless the work is completely my vision.

I need a plan B. Some people believe in a plan B, some people don't. When one gets to be 33 years old and has been poor for too long, a plan B sounds good.

This doesn't mean that I will stop making art. I already have to work while being creative in my spare time. Having a plan B just means that maybe the poverty will end and I'll enjoy my job.